We’re all chasing one thing boys and girls: love. Many of us haven’t found it, and some of us have. For those that haven’t there’s a reason.
This message today is brought to you by “Bro’s Anonymous Incorporated” (The company I’m going to start, to teach all you guys how to be a man so you can get what you’re looking for). Women will also find this guide very insightful when it comes to the male species.
There’s probably one clear reason us single guys are still yet to find an amazing, successful woman. Here it is:
You haven’t given enough of yourself, and you’re still in love with you.
No woman gives a rats a$$ about how in love you are with yourself. The more you love how good you think you are, the less chance you have of being in a position to give something beyond your own selfish needs.
Attracting a woman is about taking the focus off your needs, and putting the focus onto someone else. You’re never going to attract a beautiful woman unless you learn to treat one like royalty and give everything you have.
Giving the metaphorical five bucks change you have in your back pocket from last nights piss up with the boys down at the local pub is not going to cut the mustard young Skywalker. Become metaphorically naked, and be vulnerable.
Drop all your thoughts about what you have to try and be to attract a woman. If I was to sum up this advice it would be, “BECOME OPEN MINDED!!!”
So let’s define the ultimate guide you are going to need to attract a woman:
A) Share your brains not your assets
Assets such as houses, cars, shares, cash in the bank, etc are like trophies. They’re exciting for about two weeks, and then they become boring and seemingly unimportant. Don’t lead a conversation with a woman around these objects.
Let me give you an example. It’s like asking who won the 1965 200-metre high jump. 0.01% of people can remember, and most of us will just Google it because we can’t be stuffed caring.
The achievement and gold medal was significant in 1965, but decades on, it’s about the person that athlete has become in their life, not the medal. It’s about how much that athlete gives back and uses his or her triumphs to inspire others. Now that’s memorable.
Back to the guide for a minute. Your brain is your real asset, and that is what the long-term value proposition is for a woman. There are lots of ways to show a woman your brains and here are a few:
– Have an intelligent conversation with her
– Show your emotional intelligence by analysing a romantic situation of someone you know
– Ask her intelligent questions about her life
– Share your greatest fears and how you overcame them
– Tell a great story that has a happy ending
– Tell a tragic story and what you learned
Bottom line, talk about things with her and bring her into your world. Steer away from assets and towards engaging, addictive, inspiring conversation.
B) Practice honesty not bullsh”t
Don’t over exaggerate! Women are very smart creatures, and they know if you lie or bend the truth. Tell it how it is; it’s much sexier that way. I’ve seen women literally throw themselves at men who can be insanely honest.
Honesty would have to almost be at the top of a woman’s list of things she’s looking for in a man. If you’re not honest by nature, then it’s time to practice.
Have an accountability partner to keep you honest if that’s what it takes. Lying is like throwing mud at a woman’s face and then asking “What’s wrong baby why don’t you like me?” Come on guys this stuff is not rocket science and I’m no Einstein.
C) Try harder
I see so many guys put a half-baked effort into the pursuit of a successful and attractive woman. Remember this quest for a woman is one of the only things you were put on this planet to do. It’s bloody important so give it the attention it needs.
Put some effort in, and you’ll get to see what it’s like to be indestructible with a strong woman by your side. Now I know us guys need things spelled out for us sometimes so let me do that for you right now! This is what I mean by trying harder:
– Plan the date in advance
– Learn her friend’s names (and her name if you’ve forgotten that)
– Open the god damn door of the car, hotel, house, club (insert door name here)
– Tell her how she looks. If she looks stunning then tell her so
– Show her you care by sending good morning and good night messages
– Come over to her when she’s in a crowd of people and give her your undivided attention
– Look her in the eyes when you talk to her
– Tell her what you’re thinking and feeling
– Spoil her with fantastic food
– Surprise her with flowers when you take her out
– Hold her hand. Hug her. Kiss her (you get the message?)
Now the list above may sound obvious but common sense when it comes to attracting a woman seems not so common. Let me put all of this in simple terms again: instead of treating her like your doormat, treat her like the dream Ferrari that you want to own (or maybe you have one already and are richer than me).
D) Have some guts
Okay, this point is brutal. Text messaging is not going to cut it forever. It opens the door about 5cm to a women’s heart, and then you have to grow some balls and make a move. Hiding behind the screen of your phone is about as attractive as the freshly laid pooh from a horse’s anus.
Before I go on, I need to spell out something to do with text messages. Learn to spell and use grammar. If you type in English that is full of abbreviations, acronyms, and spelling errors, women will think you are totally dumb. Dumb is not going to work (see point A).
Now that’s off my hairy chest let’s move on. Women are looking for their version of a superhero. Let’s think about Batman for a second. Does Batman sit on his ass, eat potato chips, drink beer, and never leave the house.
No! The guy is out there saving lives, saying impressive sh*t, picking up smoking hot women, and most of all, having the guts to take action. This is what women secretly all want. They’re looking for their superhero who can swoop in and lift them off their feet.
They want their version of Batman who has the balls and the guts to do one of the following:
– Talk to them
– Ask them on a date
– Formalise a few successful dates into a relationship
– Ask them one day to marry them
If the best you can do is stand on the other side of the room with “The Boys” and not even have the guts to come over and talk, you’re never going to attract a woman. You may attract an unhealthy dose of sitting at home watching porn and masturbating though!
E) Make a move
Think about business for a second. A large part of entrepreneurship is selling. If we break down selling it comes down to this beautiful, mysterious concept called a sales funnel. Basically, you take someone from a lead, to an opportunity, to a raving fan (customer).
Attracting a woman is the same concept. To be successful, you have to constantly be taking the next step and driving the action. There’s nothing sexier to a woman than a man who’s in charge. So to break it down even further, you will not win the attraction game unless you keep “MAKING A MOVE!”
Don’t wait for time and space to align. Tell her you like her. Ask her on a date. Make a move son and quit avoiding the truth.
F) Don’t be a dick
It’s a shame I have to mention this one, but in a world full of madness it applies more than ever. Don’t be a dick. Here’s what that looks like translated: “Be the best version of yourself and remember that it’s not all about you.”
Secondly, quit the games. I see my male friends all the time playing games.
“Maybe I’ll call her. Maybe I won’t and keep her hanging.”
“What will she think if I do that? Maybe I look too desperate.”
Bottom-line is forget about how you might look and act with intention. Playing games will get you nowhere fast. There’s loads of competition trying to find an amazing woman so act swiftly and cut to the chase. The more games you play, the further you will get from your goal.
Games are for amateurs with no balls.
G) Leave your ego in the closet
That big ugly thing you bring out of the closet to the club on a Saturday night is scaring all the girls away. This illusive thing is called your ego.
“Divorce your ego and marry the truth”
Egos are a sign of ugliness. When you bring out all the stories of how awesome everything is about yourself, no woman believes it. On the other hand, your vulnerable self that has failed, broken girls hearts, shattered dreams, and suffers from fear like the rest of us, is much more real.
Providing you are not some muppet with zero confidence that stays at home in the dark, too afraid to fart in case the sound bursts your precious little ear drums, I think being the real you will be fine. What do you reckon? Are you with me?
H) Get out there and get amongst it
***Insert dating app name here**** will be unlikely to help you attract a woman. Women are living creatures that breathe and roam the planet like us males. I know it’s utterly shocking when you think about this little-known fact.
The best way to attract them is to create serendipitous, spontaneous moments and get out there and find one for yourself. How do you do that?
Go to stuff. Festivals, bars, meetups, balls, charity events, freaking bake off’s if that’s your thing. The key message is start doing and get off your lazy butt. Things will move much faster than any dating app where you are texting for twelve months wondering what each other really look like.
Real attraction begins with human connection, and it’s impossible to get that from an app. There’s nothing better than seeing each other in the flesh and looking into each other’s eyes over a genuine conversation. That’s where the attraction happens gentlemen.
By the way, I sometimes think I sound like a muppet myself with some of this advice, but I’m all for spelling it out.
I) Iron your shirt (trust me on this)
Geez I can’t believe I included this one. Don’t roll up with your shirt all creased, bad breath, and a sign on your head that says “I am too lazy to iron my shirt because I don’t care about you that much.” Part of attraction comes down to looks, so make an effort to dress well.
How would you feel if she rolled up in pumpkin costume with a bag over her head? Probably not too good, although there may be some weirdo’s reading this who get turned on by this and have some crazy fetish. I’ll assume that’s not you for the sake of this guide.
Let me finish by saying that chivalry is not dead; there is just a major shortage of it. Guys, if we don’t follow this ultimate guide, we could become extinct. Let me remind you that masturbation cannot allow you to reproduce and without reproduction, none of us exist.
Again, obvious but worth stating at this late stage in the game. Best of luck with your newfound wisdom. Now go use this guide!
If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net